There are lots of types of choices. We’ve gotten used to choosing between ice cream or pie. That’s easy. Pick one today; pick another tomorrow. Or maybe both today. That’s the choice I like.
But there are really hard choices, like when you choose one thing and it eliminates the other. Marriage is like that. Pick Miss Mary today and say goodbye forever to old Suzy Q. Maybe that’s not a great example with divorce and messing around going on, but you get the idea.
The experts are telling us that we have a big choice coming up that is really, really hard. Either global warming crashes the planet or global slowdown crashes the economy. Either we quit making stuff in order to cut down on carbon or we quit worrying and watch the water rise and the polar bears attack. That’s what they say. A hard choice is just ahead.
But I want an ice cream and pie choice here. I want my globe to chill, but I need my stuff, too. I know it takes a couple trees and a barrel of oil for every 10 minutes I’m alive, but I don’t want to change. I get bored without my stuff. And you don’t want me bored because then I get nasty and make lots of noise.
So you smart-guy scientists need to figure out how to make fun stuff that doesn’t have any carbon in it, doesn’t take any carbon to make, and doen’t use any carbon to carry it to my front door. That´s what we need. Then the choice is easy. Stuff for me and polar bears for everyone, too. So get to work.
I know you scientists are already working on carbon-free stuff. Your fancy video games point the way. A new game uses up about ten days of my life and only uses two cupfuls of oil to make electricity for my computer. A windmill in a light breeze spinning for an hour could power me for a week.
My carbon footprint shrinks to mouse-sized for a month when I have a game that’s interesting. It could stay shrunk forever if great, new games came out every week and (this is important) I didn’t have to go to work and commute burning all that oil in my pickup. So I say it’s work that makes us burn up too much carbon. Because working takes me away from my games and gives me lots of money that I use to go buy useless stuff. Like lava lamps and food processers. I don’t even cook. I just eat. And how much carbon is there in a couple cheeseburgers anyway?
If everyone just stayed home and played video games and partied a lot on weekends or maybe even every other day then who needs to drive big cars. Who needs fancy houses and trucks of designer furniture that comes here in big boats from China. Who needs all that stuff. I just need my chair, my computer and my fridge.
Now, that wasn’t too hard, was it? Maybe I should start working on other things, like world peace and babies that understand bathrooms before they are born. OK, scientists you heard it. Let’s go.
But there are really hard choices, like when you choose one thing and it eliminates the other. Marriage is like that. Pick Miss Mary today and say goodbye forever to old Suzy Q. Maybe that’s not a great example with divorce and messing around going on, but you get the idea.
The experts are telling us that we have a big choice coming up that is really, really hard. Either global warming crashes the planet or global slowdown crashes the economy. Either we quit making stuff in order to cut down on carbon or we quit worrying and watch the water rise and the polar bears attack. That’s what they say. A hard choice is just ahead.
But I want an ice cream and pie choice here. I want my globe to chill, but I need my stuff, too. I know it takes a couple trees and a barrel of oil for every 10 minutes I’m alive, but I don’t want to change. I get bored without my stuff. And you don’t want me bored because then I get nasty and make lots of noise.
So you smart-guy scientists need to figure out how to make fun stuff that doesn’t have any carbon in it, doesn’t take any carbon to make, and doen’t use any carbon to carry it to my front door. That´s what we need. Then the choice is easy. Stuff for me and polar bears for everyone, too. So get to work.
I know you scientists are already working on carbon-free stuff. Your fancy video games point the way. A new game uses up about ten days of my life and only uses two cupfuls of oil to make electricity for my computer. A windmill in a light breeze spinning for an hour could power me for a week.
My carbon footprint shrinks to mouse-sized for a month when I have a game that’s interesting. It could stay shrunk forever if great, new games came out every week and (this is important) I didn’t have to go to work and commute burning all that oil in my pickup. So I say it’s work that makes us burn up too much carbon. Because working takes me away from my games and gives me lots of money that I use to go buy useless stuff. Like lava lamps and food processers. I don’t even cook. I just eat. And how much carbon is there in a couple cheeseburgers anyway?
If everyone just stayed home and played video games and partied a lot on weekends or maybe even every other day then who needs to drive big cars. Who needs fancy houses and trucks of designer furniture that comes here in big boats from China. Who needs all that stuff. I just need my chair, my computer and my fridge.
Now, that wasn’t too hard, was it? Maybe I should start working on other things, like world peace and babies that understand bathrooms before they are born. OK, scientists you heard it. Let’s go.
